I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
