Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize