He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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