is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
