if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
How external is "for external use only"?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You were trust falling into bushes
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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