a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
