i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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