Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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