your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
