I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
