is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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