Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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