The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
