Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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