yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
