Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
