Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
