So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
