This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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