what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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