dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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