It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
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