Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
