I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
