Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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