This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
