Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
