He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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