i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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