I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
