This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
