Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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