I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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