if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
