Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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