I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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