i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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