My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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