My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
