I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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