Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
