Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
