those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
