I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
