I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
did i just pee glitter
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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