The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
