you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She bit a glass in half.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
