What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
