so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
