I wish my penis had an off switch
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
