Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
